Milestone Musings

Birthdays are weird after your person dies.

It makes no sense—that one of us gets to live, but the other doesn’t.

This past month, I’ve been wondering:

-How do we celebrate living, when it feels so complicated and murky?

-What are we supposed to do with this time we’ve been granted?

-How do we manage this mix of gratitude and guilt?

-Why on earth are we still here and they’re not?

I’ve fumbled for answers. I’ve struggled for understanding. Yet, here we are, blowing out candles another year, when our loved ones aren’t.

I don’t know the answers…I doubt I ever will. But, I do know we’ll talk about them. I do know we’ll carry them with us. I do know we’ll try to make them proud.

Even as we head into another year of life without them. Love never dies.

Image: Michael Rosen’s Sad Book (one of my favorites!)